Breakfast is ready
by Spyder1070
Summary: Murdoc is a man who likes to throw his weight around. Sometimes he wins, and sometimes....? Read on to see what happens. ONE SHOT.


_One of the first G-Bites I ever wrote, so there's bound to be a whole lot of mistakes in it. I'll eventually work out how to write these things properly... or get a program to do it for me. So for now, you're just going to have to forgive me, and ad-lib the punctuation and that, I've not been able to work out yet. Grammar... That's another thing that I have difficulty with. Eh? Hope you enjoy it anyway. Even if it's badly written._

_

* * *

  
_

Murdoc is standing at the refrigerator wearing only his Y-fronts and Cuban heels, rummaging around looking for breakfast. 2D walks in and flops himself down in a chair, and carefully places his forehead on the kitchen table. Murdoc, having watched the young mans entrance, leans heavily on the refrigerator door. Looking over at the spiky blue head, sitting on the table.

"Oi Faceache. Whats yer problem? Ha! Like I really care." he says grabbing a half eaten apple from the fridge, and tossing it at the young man. It bounces off 2Ds head and onto the floor, rolling to a stop in the corner.

"Wha?" replies 2D, looking up half asleep. He glances round the room and sees Murdocs behind, moving from side to side in a rather hypnotic fashion, almost like a dance. Squinting at it through sleep laden eyes, he can't really work out what it is he's looking at. So he puts his head back down and goes back to sleep. Russel walks in and sees 2D asleep on the table and Murdoc in his underwear in the fridge.

"Oh maaan! Muds, don't you have any shame?" says the large man, crossing two fingers like a crucifix before him at Muds. Muds stands up with a plate of ham in one hand, a tub of butter in the other, and a loaf of bread clenched between his teeth. He looks at Russel and sneers.

"Mmm?" Muds mumbles through the plastic of the bag, fearing if he opened his mouth to say something he'd drop the bread. He walks to the kitchen bench, slamming the fridge door shut as he goes and spits out the bread. "You tryin' to be a comedian or summink?" the Bassist snarls, and starts making himself a sandwich. Russel rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He looks over at 2D fast asleep on the table.

"What's his problem?" he says pointing and now that Murdoc has given him access, walks to the fridge. Muds doesn't even look up as he lays out the pieces of bread.

"Long night." he answers as he applies a rather liberal coating of butter. "Poor whittle boy now gone sleepy bye, bye to lullaby land. But don't worry, it'll be a short stop-over and he'll be back with us shortly. Whaaaa, wha." he continues, piling up ham. He looks at it like an artist would a painting, then applies a liberal amount of pickles, and a few olives from a jar under the counter. Then steps back and again looks hard at it for a moment, thinking. He grabs some mustard and plasters that onto the underside of the other slice of bread, finishing it off with some Tabasco from the table. Turning back to the fridge, he walks over and slides his arm in beside the Drummer, quickly snatching out a container of cream cheese and returns with it. Russel growls at him, but continues his own search. Taking the knife Murdoc digs in and scoops out a large portion of the cheese and pastes it on top of his sandwich. Now he feels satisfied with his creation. So he adds the top, slamming his hand down on each of the two sandwiches, and squashing them flat. Russel watches this and raises an eyebrow. 'Dat guy jus' can' be normal. Cream cheese, mustard, pickles, olives, Tabasco and ham? Dat can' be good fo' breakfast, or lunch or....' the large man thinks, trailing off in his mind. His stomach growls and Russel returns to the food hunt.

"Two please...." says 2D suddenly in his sleep. Muds, who is leaning with his back to the bench munching on his sandwich, looks over at the still sleeping young man and wonders what he's dreaming about for just a second. But then shakes the thought from his mind, as being unimportant. Russel stands up weighed down with food, and briefly looks over at the sleeping Keyboardist.

"Huh?...Two what?" says the large man puzzled. He walks to the bench and elbows Murdoc aside.

"You're botherin' to ask!? Oi Whachit! Trust me, I'm movin'. I'd never wanna get between you and yer food. (mumble) mistaken for a hamburger and eaten." says Muds indignantly and slides himself further down the bench from Russel. He takes a large bite from his sandwich, munching it loudly, and wiping some cream cheese that had spilled out, from the corner of his mouth. Russel looks up and glares at the Bassist, who just sneers back. Popping the last of his sandwich in his mouth, and licking his fingers one at a time. He sneakily holds up the middle one for Russel to see. Russel sighs and begins to make his breakfast. He just can't be bothered to argue. Murdoc puts his plate in the sink and stretches, cracking the bones in his back. Then walks towards the sleeping youth, scratching his testicles.

"2D... 2D. Wakey, wakey." says Muds almost sweetly. But the Keyboardist just sleeps on. Muds grimaces at being ignored and pulls his hand back, slapping 2D hard between the shoulder blades. The Keyboardist suddenly snaps awake, jumping up from the table sharply, and catching his groin on the edge. He grabs his crotch and goes to fall back on the chair, but Muds kicks the chair out from under him with his foot before he gets to it. And he falls, cracking his chin on the table, and dropping to a heap on the floor.

"Owwwwww." moans the Keyboardist from under the table, holding his chin with one hand and his crotch with the other. Muds laughs out loud, holding his stomach and pointing at the unfortunate younger man. Just then Noodle steps into the room. She looks over at Russel, who is busily putting the finishing touches to what appears to be a food mountain, then to Murdoc who is laughing like a maniac in his underwear. Finally she leans down and looks at 2D, who is curled up in the foetal position under the table, holding his groin.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk." she tuts, shaking her head and moving to the refrigerator. Having taken out Russel and 2D, Murdoc thinks he's on a roll, so he decides to have a go at taking down Noodle as well. If anything, at least he'd be able to say he had a good morning.

"Tsk nothin!" he snaps, wiping away a joyful tear. "You still alive?" he continues, leaning heavily back on the kitchen bench and crossing his ankles confidently.

"Ah hai!" says Noodle brightly and steps from the fridge, holding a bottle of milk. Murdoc is not satisfied with her seemingly still happy mood, so he continues. Deciding to remind her who exactly was in charge of the place.

"Humpf! This is MY house. And that is MY milk. Who said YOU... could drink my milk, in my house?" he snarls, jutting out his chin. He reaches back with his hands, digging his dirty fingernails into the bench top. Noodle pays him no mind.

"Oh, but it not your room I be in." she says brightly and grabs a box of cereal from the cupboard. Muds looks about the kitchen, confused.

"Ahhh yeah! This.." he says gesturing about with his hands, "is MY kitchen. And YOU... are standin' in it!"

"I not talking ahh about kitchen Murdoc. I talking about ahh my bedroom." she adds quickly, pouring cereal into a bowl. Murdoc raises an eyebrow and grinds his teeth. Pursing his lips, he looks hard at the young girl and flexes his fingers, making the bones in them crack.

"Buuuut, ahh your bedroom ahh, is in my house." he adds, sarcastically mimicking her. Dropping back into his own voice, he grins and adds, "So strictly speakin', that's mine too." he smiles at her, folding his arms over his chest, convinced he's just won that argument. Noodle calmly pours milk over her cereal and grabs a spoon from the cutlery caddy near the toaster, then returns the milk to the fridge and picks up her bowl. She looks at the old man and tilts her head to one side.

"No!" she says, firm but still quite calm. And pops a spoonful of cereal in her mouth. Muds is startled a little by this and unfolds his arms. He blinks at her, trying to work out if he'd just imagined that. But can plainly see from the look on her face, he hadn't dreamed it.

"Whaddya mean no?" he asks, puzzled and annoyed. He leans forward and grips the bench top again. Gripping it tightly and doing his best not to look too rattled. Noodle swallows the cereal and looks over at the Bassist, determined not to let him win this round.

"It not your room, it my room! Cause it have my shit in it! And I be in it! Not you! Me! Noodaru! And if you don't like it. You, can kiss my tiny, yellow Japanese butt!" she snaps, turning around and giving her behind a wiggle, before casually strolling out the kitchen door and slamming it behind her. Murdoc looks at the door, mouth agape in shock. Russel and 2D are doing the same. They all look at one another, then back at the kitchen door. Not quite sure exactly what to make of that.

"Wow!" says Muds finally. "I think I just got side swiped by a Japanese tornado?" he adds, grabbing the chair he kicked out from under 2D. He slowly sits down and continues to stare at the kitchen door. Not quite sure if Noodle would return for the second round. Russel snickers into his food mountain, as 2D chuckles quietly under the table. Muds clenches his teeth and kicks out at 2D under the table, catching him in the shoulder.

"Ow! Wha' did I do?" squeaks the young man, still smiling.

"Shuddup." says Muds and he rests his elbows on the table and his chin on his hands, trying to figure out what went so horribly wrong.


End file.
